Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Rest
Tonight I feel so tired, infact, I've been feeling exhausted for more than a week now, like my body is made of heavy rubber and it's all I can do to lift my limbs. Tonight I want to eat and I want to escape, through a juicy novel or an absorbing movie. I know I really must be tired, me, who recently read a novel again for the first time in years. I suppose life is a bit of a slog lately, like wading through a thick field of mud. Maybe that's why I haven't been writing. The cafe is somewhat uninspiring ( I know it's me, but why not blame the cafe?) and the summer sun is slow in arriving. And so, acceptance....I like what Tara Brach has to say here: "When some people talk about accepting themselves they have this fear that they're condoning some bad behavior, or that if they accept themselves, that means they'll never improve. But the truth is, we're not saying, "It's OK that you did that bad thing." All we're accepting is the actuality of our experience in the moment: I'm accepting this shame is here, I'm accepting this fear is here, I'm accepting this anger, I'm accepting that there's craving, I'm accepting the truth just now, that I acted out of that craving and I ate too much. I'm accepting how bad I feel about that. But in the moment of accepting, we're not condoning. We're just acknowledging the truth of what's here with kindness. The reality is, if we can do that, it actually begins to free us so we can in the next moment, be a lot more wise."
Here's to wisdom and the lightness of body, mind and spirit that I know awaits me if I will only allow myself to embrace it.
